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| b)"Sidney" pages 3,4 & 5. |
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I’m sorry I can’t comment either DOROTHY Well is the house being sold with vacant possession? ESTATE AGENT (EDWARDS) You’ll have to speak to the receivers. SIDNEY You’re their bloody agents, why can’t we talk to you? ESTATE AGENT (PEARSON) Look don’t worry, social services are involved. SIDNEY ‘Course they’re bloody involved, but they don’t know what the hell to do with us either. CHARLIE I like it here. I don’t want to move. SIDNEY Of course you don’t. (to PEARSON) None of us do. We’re like a family. ESTATE AGENT (PEARSON) Sorry. EDITH They can’t make us move can they? DOROTHY Oh they have law behind them Edith. LEONARD We’ll be out on the street DOROTHY And do they care if we die of cold and hunger? CHARLIE Bastards SIDNEY You should be ashamed of yourselves. LESLIE enters. She is the middle aged, no nonsense, Matron/nursing home manager. LESLIE What’s going on? SIDNEY That’s what we all want to know, what’s going on? INT. LESLIE’S OFFICE – DAY 1 Visible in the office is a safe. OPEN on Sidney admiring the safe. LESLIE Stop it. SIDNEY (guilty) Stop what? LESLIE Harassing the auctioneers SIDNEY Why shouldn’t I harass them? LESLIE You will get yourself into trouble. SIDNEY Trouble? What are you going to do? Give me a bloody detention, or expel me, guess what Leslie, I’m being thrown out anyway. LESLIE Everyone is upset by this Sidney, we’ve all got uncertain futures but if you question my authority, I’ll have you removed sooner rather than later. Understand? SIDNEY No I don’t understand. How did you allow this gaffe to go bankrupt? LESLIE Are you blaming me? SIDNEY Well you are in charge. LESLIE It’s easy to blame me isn’t it. SIDNEY Well you are in charge LESLIE I know everyone is saying it’s my fault. That I am a crap manager and the home wouldn’t have gone bust if I’d balanced the books better. SIDNEY Now you’re being too hard on yourself. LESLIE (vehemently) I am victim of the system, just like everyone else. I am being made the scape goat, I could run this home properly, standing on my head, if I owned it. SIDNEY Then buy it off the receivers. LESLIE How? SIDNEY Borrow the money from a bank. LESLIE No one is going to lend me that sort of money unless I’ve got a deposit. And I haven’t got a deposit. Sidney pats the safe. SIDNEY Then find a benefactor. LESLIE Where from? It’s not that simple. (observing Sidney) Sidney. I get very disconcerted the way you pat my safe SIDNEY Sorry. I can’t help being drawn to beauty.
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| Added: | 2007-03-23 08:08:32 | |||
| Last updated: | 2007-06-11 19:41:47 | |||
Reviews (2)
sidney
Reviewed by gov'nah, 2007-06-11 Hard to comment from just six pages, but I'll give it a go. I see where your going with it and it seems to be a pretty good idea chock full of potential for comedy and drama. But you seem to be pulling at the reins to hard mate. The story develops to much in the first few pages and there is no hook. In a screenplay your first scene should always hook the reader. You didn't have this. It's a bunch of geezers watchin' the telly. And in a story where your main characters are gonna be geezers then you gotta hook them early. Can I suggest opening with a good flashback. Maybe even pepper them in all through out. It would make watchin grand dad more tolerable. And spice up your dialouge. It's boring. it don't pop.
Reviewed by gov'nah, 2007-06-11 Hard to comment from just six pages, but I'll give it a go. I see where your going with it and it seems to be a pretty good idea chock full of potential for comedy and drama. But you seem to be pulling at the reins to hard mate. The story develops to much in the first few pages and there is no hook. In a screenplay your first scene should always hook the reader. You didn't have this. It's a bunch of geezers watchin' the telly. And in a story where your main characters are gonna be geezers then you gotta hook them early. Can I suggest opening with a good flashback. Maybe even pepper them in all through out. It would make watchin grand dad more tolerable. And spice up your dialouge. It's boring. it don't pop.
For,gov'nah
Reviewed by Harrymedia, 2007-06-11 Thanks for your comments,I do agree with your points,we do have some fantastic true stories that can be added in as flashbacks,to make it more fun and watchable.
Reviewed by Harrymedia, 2007-06-11 Thanks for your comments,I do agree with your points,we do have some fantastic true stories that can be added in as flashbacks,to make it more fun and watchable.
