PART THREE INT. RECEPTION DESK. DAY Sidney and Rebecca. Sidney is at the desk signing out. SIDNEY Have you seen any strangers come through here? REBECCA No one gets past me Sidney, is there a problem? SIDNEY You know I have that painting on my wall. REBECAA The Constable, it’s a beautiful reproduction. SIDNEY Yes, it’s very convincing isn’t it. It’s seems to have gone missing. REBECCA Missing? SIDNEY It’s gone from my wall, could you do me favour and check Freda’s room, you know how she takes things and hides them in her commode. REBECAA Of course, I’ll have a look. But if it’s not there Sidney, I’ll tell Leslie, she’ll want to call the Police. SIDNEY (alarmed) No..no Police. REBECCA But what if it’s been stolen? SIDNEY Oh it’s been stolen, I nicked it first. And if it’s been nicked off me, then what goes around, comes around. REBECCA (laughs) You and your stories, you’ll be telling me it was an original next. SIDNEY (forced smile) No Police. Just check on Freda. EXT. COUNTRY GARDEN –BEE HIVES. DAY Sidney and MAURICE , an elderly gentleman, old school, in a bee keepers outfit are walking away from some bee hives. Maurice removes his helmet. He hands his helmet to a private NURSE in uniform. The nurse is attractive in her late thirties. SIDNEY You’ve got a nice spread here Maurice. (smiling at the nurse) Very nice, very nice. MAURICE Thank you. (to nurse) Monique, be a love and get Sidney a couple of jars of honey to take back with him. SIDNEY Very kind, very kind. They walk a while MAURICE I’m sorry to hear about Alfie. SIDNEY Come as a big shock to me too. MAURICE Why have you come to see me Sidney? SIDNEY Well the thing is Maurice…You and I both know how you paid for this lovely place. MAURICE Oh Sidney, you haven’t come to blackmail me have you? SIDNEY God forbid Maurice, God forbid. No, but I have hit hard times. MAURICE And you’d like to borrow some money? SIDNEY No, no, I am seriously considering doing a job. MAURICE And you want a reference? SIDNEY A “bank” job Maurice, you know a “bank” job. MAURICE And you want a bank reference? SIDNEY No I want a partner, a compatriot, an amigo you know get the old gang togther. MAURICE Is it some kind of job share? SIDNEY No you silly old sod, I want a team to help me rob a bank! They walk in silence. MAURICE You’re asking me to help you rob a bank? SIDNEY Well have you anything better to do? MAURICE I’m flattered you’ve asked me. SIDNEY And don’t tell me some old cobblers about being too old. MAURICE I wont, because it’s nothing to do with age. It’s the old grey matter, that’s what counts. SIDNEY And the old grey matter is just a bit greyier that’s all. MAURICE I like the sound of it Sidney, you know me, I’m always game SIDNEY Exactly, so come on let’s do it. Lets get the old firm together. Do you know where to find Mad Bad Boris? MAURICE Same place you’ll find Alfie…. SIDNEY No. MAURICE And Taffy and Mick. SIDNEY (shocked) They’ve all popped their clogs. MAURICE I think Bernard’s still alive. SIDNEY Bernard, the dip? MAURICE Yeah, he’s good ‘un. But I don’t know where he is. SIDNEY He don’t know where he is either. He’s lost it. Can’t even pick his nose now. Looks like it’s just you and me. MAURICE No, I can’t help you. Sorry, it wouldn’t be fair. SIDNEY Fair? Fair on who? MAURICE Monique, she’s up the duff. We see Monique returning with jars of honey. SIDNEY Up the duff? And this from the man who taught me to always put gloves on. MAURICE I suppose I’ll have to do the honourable thing and marry her. SIDNEY Of course. MAURICE Honour? As a word, it’s just a load of old bollocks now. SIDNEY Sadly Maurice, I’m beginning to agree with you.