INT. SIDNEY’S ROOM. DAY. Sidney and CLEMENTINE, a lady in her forties, sit on his bed. CLEMENTINE Oh Dad, what’s going to happen to you? SIDNEY Now don’t you start worrying. CLEMENTINE But I am worried, very worried, Leslie says you’re going to have to move. SIDNEY They can’t get rid of me that easily. CLEMENTINE I’ve been praying for you Dad, we all have at the church. SIDNEY That’s nice. CLEMENTINE You know that even though you had a wicked past, God still loves you. SIDNEY I think the Good Lord has given up on me a long time ago. Clementine takes Sidney’s hand. CLEMENTINE Come and live with us Dad. SIDNEY That’s very sweet of you. But you haven’t got the room. CLEMENTINE Yes, it would be very difficult squeezing you in, it would put us out, but I’ve spoken to Keith and he says we have to be Christian about these things. SIDNEY I wouldn’t want to put you to any trouble. CLEMENTINE It is only by embracing trouble that you can embrace your faith. SIDNEY How often do you go to church ? CLEMENTINE Not often enough, forgive me. SIDNEY Of course I forgive you CLEMENTINE I wasn’t talking to you Dad… Suddenly CLEMENTINE screams. CLEMENTINES POV. We see a figure with a stocking over his head standing in the door way, he is clearly in some distress. SIDNEY Bloody hell! It is Leonard. He is struggling to pull the stocking off, the stocking is a surgical stocking made from the heaviest denier. Sidney wrenches the stocking from Leonard, who obviously had trouble breathing through it. LEONARD (breathless) Thanks I couldn’t breath. SIDNEY You stupid sod. (to Clementine) Pardon my French. LEONARD I thought I was a gonna then. SIDNEY Where did you get that thing? LEONARD Off Freda, it’s a surgical stocking, but it’s so thick, you can’t see or breath with it on. CLEMENTINE Dad, what’s going on? LEONARD Oh hello Clementine. CLEMENTINE Hello Leonard. SIDNEY What do you mean sweetheart, what’s going on? CLEMENTINE What’s going on? Suddenly at the doorway appears PEARL, an elegant old lady, she is wearing a beautiful feather mask. PEARL What do you think Sidney? SIDNEY I think it’s perfect for a masked ball. PEARL Yes, I thought it was rather gorgeous. PEARL EXITS. CLEMENTINE Are you going to a masked ball? SIDNEY Yes, At the Town Hall. LEONARD A tea dance. SIDNEY A masked ball tea dance Leonard exits. CLEMENTINE You’re not going as a bank robber a re you? SIDNEY Don’t be silly, everyone will know it’s me. CLEMENTINE (mortified) Does everyone know? About your past? Do you go round telling people. SIDNEY Are you ashamed of me Clementine? CLEMENTINE I forgive you and so does God. SIDNEY But, are you ashamed of me? Awkward pause. CLEMENTINE Look I best be going. SIDNEY I’m sorry if I’m an embarrassment. CLEMENTINE I pray for you. And Keith, we both pray. SIDNEY What are you praying for, that I wont come and live with you. Awkward pause CLEMENTINE If you have no where else to go and you’re thrown out on the street, of course we will take you in, that is our duty. SIDNEY Well don’t panic, I’m staying here. CLEMENTINE You can’t. It’s closing down. DERMOT sticks his head round the door. DERMOT God I don’t believe it, Sidney! So this is where you’re hiding yourself. SIDNEY (shocked) Hello Dermot DERMOT Have you found that piece of paper yet? SIDNEY No, have you found the will. DERMOT Sadly not. SIDNEY What are you doing here? ESTATE AGENT (PEARSON) appears next to DERMOT ESTATE AGENT (PEARSON) Is it all right if we just have a quick look round. DERMOT Lovely old house. I’m thinking this could be a good place to invest my windfall. SIDNEY Is that right. DERMOT You can’t go wrong investing in land. ESTATE AGENT (PEARSON) As I was saying, if you knocked through from next door, you could make this the en suite. SIDNEY It’s already got an en-suite. DERMOT I could knock that down and make this one big toilet. SIDNEY Get out, get out! DERMOT I can see you’re upset, I’ll leave you be. ESTATE AGENT (PEARSON) (To Dermot) I do apologise, you know what old people are like. Dermot and Person exit. SIDNEY (calls) They’re just like young people, only with manners. CLEMENTINE Dad stop it, that’s it, I’ve made up my mind, you are going to come and live with me and Keith.