CUT TO. INT. DINING ROOM. NIGHT. At one table drinking tea and biscuits, are Sidney, Leonard, Harold, Charlie, Dorothy, Eric and Pearl, who, though seventy five, is glamorously dressed. Sidney surveys the dining room and feels it is safe to talk. SIDNEY Okay, my daughter is insisting I go and live with her, so due to the urgency of the situation. I’ve decided to help you out. CHARLIE Great, we’re already tooled up. SIDNEY Tooled up? What with, viagra. HAROLD Dorothy has got us a gun. SIDNEY chokes on his tea. SIDNEY Where did you get that? DOROTHY Contacts, I used to be a veterinary nurse. LEONARD It’s a tranquillising gun, so it can’t hurt anyone. PEARL We’re not hardened criminals. SIDNEY You’re not even real criminals, Yet. So phase one will be to a trial run on an easy target. I want to see if we can work as an effective team. The task I have in mind will test your skills, without too much risk. But there will be risk, so if anyone wants to bottle out - do it now and not when we’re on the job. Sidney pauses a moment. ERIC I’m really not a criminal. DOROTHY Of course you’re a criminal. You’ve still got a house which you’re renting out. CHARLIE And the local authority are paying for you to be in here. DOROTHY That’s breaking the law. ERIC I told you that in strictest confidence. DOROTHY And your secret is safe, provided you co-operate. ERIC This is coercion; you can’t force me to help you. SIDNEY (breezes on) We already have. Any questions? CHARLIE Wheel chair access? SIDNEY There will be wheel chair access. But under the circumstances you will need ‘fleet of foot’, so mobility scooter. It will also transport heavy equipment. Any other questions. HAROLD What sort of job is it? SIDNEY Grave robbing. ERIC Grave robbing? CHARLIE That doesn’t sound too hard. END OF PART THREE. PART FOUR. INT. MOUNTAIN LODGE RECPTION AREA. NIGHT. Sidney, Leonard, Harold, Dorothy, Eric and Pearl. All dressed in assorted black trousers and black jumpers are heading for the front door - Leonard carries a holdall. LESLIE Excuse me, where do you all think you’re going? SIDNEY We’re going to rob a safe. LESLIE Nobody is to go jogging with out clearance from a Doctor. SIDNEY Jogging? I’ve just told you where we’re going LESLIE Unfortunately, I don’t believe you. LEONARD It’s true. DOROTHY We’re going to rob a safe. LESLIE I’m not stupid, you’re sneaking off to the pub. PEARL (horrified) Dressed like this? LESLIE Charlie is outside on a mobility scooter, he is not to drink alcohol and drive do you understand? SIDNEY (grudgingly) All right. LESLIE Leonard you are on medication, so you’re on the wagon as well. LEONARD Orange juice only promise. Leslie presents them with an open log book and a pen. LESLIE Now, sign out. And I want estimated time of return. If you’re not back I’ll call the Police. SIDNEY Shall I tell you something Leslie, there is more freedom in an open prison.